I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's like iHOP with fire
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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