sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
