eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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