What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize