um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
