I bet he comes in French.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
