You really coming over, don't trick.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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