You work out of a Hotel?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
