I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
