ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
