So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
