she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
