You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
