bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
