NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
