im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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