I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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