well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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