i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
