I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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