guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
