Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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