4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
