Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
