Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
