we made out on top of his cat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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