Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize