walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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