He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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