Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's the barista slut.
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What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
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I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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