Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
