next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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