Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
