It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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