Christians are straight up FREAKS
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
