And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
