He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
