hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
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My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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