Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
