D3 body, D1 cock
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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