Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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