is your mom at the bar?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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