I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
