What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
