you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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