I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
