Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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