There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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