He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
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I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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