fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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