i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
