2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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