To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
