does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
