okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize