Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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