But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
