dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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